Celebration Hearing

We recently attended our son’s celebration hearing, an opportunity to visit the courts to have a more formal ceremony of his adoption with some of the people involved in making the decision.

As adoptive parents, you are involved in very little of the legal process. For our little one so much had happened before we knew him. Information gathering, assessments, discussions, support and exploration of who might be the right care givers for him. There is a significant amount of work required as the life changing decisions for each child in this position are not easy to make or taken lightly. In our case, much of this was completed before we knew of him.

On the morning of the celebration hearing, we were a little unsure what to expect. We had received the formal invite and knew we would sit before a judge, that our children would likely be able to try on wigs, sit in the judges chair and our little one would be given a certificate, but beyond that we had very little detail. Until this point almost everything else in our lives since he has joined us has been well planned, often using photographs so that we could prepare him the best we could about who we would be seeing or what the building or place we were visiting would look like etc. Here we all found the unknown a little daunting, but we used things such as his new outfit, and seeing our family as an anchor point for him.

The ceremony was lovely, the judge spoke to him with encouragement and all three of our children were valued and celebrated. We were invited to take photos together and with family and he was given a certificate to mark the occasion. We had completed a lot of work with him about the adults who had made the decision for him to join our family, and the certificate he was given only echoed this – confirming that he was part of our family, forever. All three of our children were invited to try on the judges wigs and sit in the chair bringing order to the court! and we all proudly looked on as the occasion was met with joy from all three of them and us all.

The hearing itself was fairly quick, and we decided to follow it with a brunch where the celebration continued and we had a special time together as a family before going our separate ways.

As I said, I hadn’t been sure what to expect, but the day carried more significance than I realised it might. I hadn’t recognised until that day that even with the adoption order granted, the part that gave us legal parental responsibility for him, the process still felt unfinished. Perhaps something that has come from having to wait for so many things along the way, but later on the five of us were walking down the road and I had a sudden feeling of peace that things were as they should be. It was all complete.

Adoption will of course always be a significant part of all of our lives, and I have no doubt our child’s history will have a significant impact on his future; but for so long the process for us has been about waiting for each step of the process, often in the hands of others and now that waiting is over.

For our adopted son, I’m not sure it quite had the same meaning, but I know that one day it will, and we will use the photos we have to look back with fond memories.